


Hard fellings

by Ischa



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Supernatural
Genre: Crossover, Gen, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-15
Updated: 2011-08-15
Packaged: 2017-10-22 15:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam realizes that he is sick of not having a real home and not being able to stay in one place.</p><p><i>Sam likes Patrick’s house. You can see that a woman is living in it and he likes Patrick’s mom, she makes cookies. Patrick looks kinda embarrassed by her.<br/>“God, she’s so…she makes it look like I would never bring boys home…” Sam snickers.<br/>“Wait! That is so not what I meant!” Patrick stutters, going red. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard fellings

**Title:** Hard feelings  
 **Pairing:** Sam/Patrick (kind of)  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Summary:** Sam realizes that he is sick of not having a real home and not being able to stay in one place.  
 **Warning(s):** none  
 **Author’s Notes:** Okay, this is pre-series, and also a crossover. (But only if you know what you’re looking for, I guess.) Written for nilyveth. (Because it is canon.)  
 **Word Count:** 1.771  
 **Beta:** asm_z  
 **Disclaimer:** Don’t know, don’t own, not real

\---  
~+~  
Sam knows that Dean smokes secretly on the roof sometimes. He saw it, and besides he isn’t stupid. Sometimes he thinks he is the smartest Winchester man around. Dean does it on the roof so their father won’t find out. John doesn’t think it’s good for a hunter to smoke. Dean doesn’t seem that concerned. And it’s the only rebellion that is happening at all on Dean’s part, so Sam just shuts up and lets Dean do what he does.  
Besides, Sam has more pressing matters at hand. Homework, school, stealing some time to meet up with that kid from his math class he kinda likes. You need to make friends fast, because you never know when you’ll be packed into the car and driven away, never to return again. It’s his life and he hates it.  
Before, before when he was younger, it seemed fascinating, so cool to be everywhere, to see all the cool places around the country. Most of the time he only had Dean to answer to, not that he had ever been a particular nasty child. You can’t be when you just have one parent, who isn’t even there most of the fucking time.  
He sighs and looks out of the window. He isn’t even sure where they are, somewhere near Chicago. Maybe it doesn’t matter, because they will not stay long. If he’s lucky a few weeks, if he’s not, he will not see that kid from math class (Patrick, his name is Patrick, he says firmly in his head. He doesn’t want to forget Patrick’s name.) ever again. He shuts his books and grabs the phone to call Patrick, because, just fucking because.  
(Because time is like sand between his fingers.)

~+~  
Sam likes Patrick’s house. You can see that a woman is living in it and he likes Patrick’s mom, she makes cookies. Patrick looks kinda embarrassed by her.

“God, she’s so…she makes it look like I would never bring boys home…” Sam snickers.

“Wait! That is so not what I meant!” Patrick stutters, going red.

“It’s okay. I mean, I don’t care how many boys you’re taking home. I’m sure your mom doesn’t either.”

“Sam! That’s not what I meant!”

“I know.” Sam answers, taking a cookie. It’s chocolate chip, his favourite. “But I wouldn’t care. Really.” He adds.

“Okay…” Patrick answers, still red like a tomato.

He stays and listens to Patrick’s CDs until it gets dark outside.  
The night air is cold and he regrets that he didn’t take his hoodie with him for a second, but then, he was cold before. He says some parting words to Patrick’s mom and tries to refuse Patrick’s blue hoodie, but Patrick just looks stern and he takes it anyway.

~+~  
Dean is smoking on the roof when he comes home. He can see it in the cold night air.

“Hey!” He yells, Dean looks over the edge and smiles.

“Hey.”

“Can I come up?”

“It’s a free roof.” Dean answers. Whatever, Sam thinks, rolling his eyes. His brother is such an idiot sometimes. “I know you rolled your eyes.”

“Sure as hell I did.” Sam answers with a smile. He knows Dean doesn’t see it, but he also knows Dean knows it’s there.

“I may declare this roof mine…”

“Yeah, whatever…” Sam says, climbing the old rain rail. It’s no more dangerous than other things they do, but it’s kinda stupid to do it, because there is a safer way to get on the roof.

“Be careful, Dad will have my ass if something happens to you.” Dean says, taking another drag.

“I am.” Sam says a bit annoyed. As if he would fall down!

“Welcome to my roof.” Dean says grinning, as Sam sits down beside him.

“It’s not really yours, it’s not even dad’s…” Sam answers; Dean gives him a look and takes another drag. “I thought you would be out with…whatsherface.”

“Rachel.” Dean says, waving his hand in dismissal. “Yeah, no…”

“She dumped you?”

“I dumped her.”

“Whatever.”

“What were you doing? Studying with some geek?”

“Listening to music with some geek.” Sam says.

“Does that geek have a name?” Dean asks. Sam knows he doesn’t really care and that he isn’t sure Sam will give him an answer, because he usually doesn’t. He wants to forget the people he liked. It’s better that way. Easier. Dean wants that too. That’s maybe why he dumps his girlfriends so easily.

“Patrick.” Sam says to his surprise.

“Hmmm…” Dean answers. He takes another drag and Sam looks up and into the sky. He isn’t sure why he doesn’t want to forget Patrick. He plain doesn’t is the thing.

~+~  
The thing they’re hunting might be or might not be a witch. Dad isn’t sure yet. Could be a kind of demon too. Sam isn’t sure he really wants to know, or have Dad find out and then kill it, because they will pack their things the same night. He doesn’t want to leave. Chicago is kinda cool. Patrick takes him to gigs and lets him hang out at his basement and he has a brother, so he knows how it is. Also, Patrick is funny and a genius. Sam likes to hear him play, sometimes he sings along. He has a nice voice.  
Sometimes they hang out at Borders for hours, Patrick talking about bands he doesn’t know, because Dean always listens to old school rock.

“That’s not bad too.” Patrick says. “But maybe you will like that.” He adds, pushing a CD at Sam. “It’s Pete’s band…he’s something like a celebrity around here.”

“He is?” Sam asks, because Pete doesn’t look like anyone special at all. But on the other hand, he and Dean don’t either, and they are hunting evil things Patrick couldn’t even imagine.

“He is. Maybe we could watch them next Friday? We kinda would need a car…”

“I’ll ask Dean.”

“You don’t have to, I could ask my dad.”

“I’ll ask Dean.” Sam repeats.

“Thank god.” Patrick says. Sam laughs. It’s too cute how Patrick looks at that moment. Oh, he thinks a second later. Oh. Shit.

~+~  
“So…” Dean says, he is sitting on the roof again, Sam at his side.

“So?” Sam asks.

“You were with that Patrick again?”

“Yeah…”

“Hmmm.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…you think. Forget it.” He says frustrated, because he doesn’t really know how to talk about it. It’s not like a year ago with Claire. The feelings are different.

“No, come on. You can tell me.” Dean says. Yeah, Sam thinks, maybe, because if he can’t tell Dean, he can’t tell anyone.

“So, did you ever like someone who you think you maybe shouldn’t?” He asks, Dean takes a deep drag.

“Yeah. I did.”  
Sam really wants to ask who, but he really wants to talk about Patrick too.

“Did you do anything?”

“No.”

“Oh…” Sam says.

“Hey, you don’t need to do what I did, you know. You could talk to that person. I was just…it  
was complicated.”

“I don’t know.” Sam says, looking up again. He likes to watch the sky.

“We’re talking about that Patrick kid, right?” Dean asks. Sam sometimes forgets how smart Dean is and that he knows Sam in and out.

“Yeah, we are.” Sam says.

“It’s okay. You know, you’re still my brother. Nothing can change that.”

“I’m not gay. I mean, I like girls, too, a lot.” Sam says a bit embarrassed.

“Doesn’t matter. We’re still family. I don’t care if you like to kiss boys. And you so want to kiss Patrick…” he singsongs. His brother is still a jerk.

“Shut up.” Sam mumbles.

“Bring him home some time.”

“So you can make him uncomfortable? I don’t think so.” Sam answers. Dean laughs, throwing the butt of his cigarette into the backyard.

“I promise to behave.”

“I don’t believe you” Sam says. Dean puts an arm around his shoulder.

“You can.” He answers seriously.

“Okay.” Sam says. It’s a quiet moment between them. He likes it.

~+~  
Sam knows Dean doesn’t really want to be here. Here is a club somewhere near Chicago. To listen to a band he will not like at all. Dean is pretty narrow-minded when it comes to music. He is behaving though – even if he grinned as he saw Patrick and mumbled something about lips. Sam chose not to listen.  
The club is small and full of kids. Sam just knows that Dean is looking for the best escape route, but he doesn’t really care about that right now, because he can feel Patrick’s body next to his and it’s nice. It’s uncomplicated and warm and normal.

~+~  
“I don’t know…he seems kinda insane.” Sam says and Patrick laughs. Sam likes to make Patrick laugh.

“I bet he totally is.” He answers. They’re sitting in the backseat of the car, Dean is playing Metallica and Sam doesn’t care. Dean deserves Metallica after this.

“But you totally like him.”

“Yeah, not really the music, because I’ve heard better bands….”

“Amen.” Dean says and Patrick smiles.

“But there is something about him.” He adds shrugging. And Sam knows exactly what Patrick is talking about. Pete is charismatic.

“He is kinda like Sam…” Dean says.

“Yeah!” Patrick answers.

“Shut up.” Sam mumbles. And Dean laughs.

~+~  
In the end he doesn’t tell Patrick anything about his feelings. He doesn’t have time. He can’t even say goodbye properly. The only thing he can do is put a hurriedly written note into Patrick’s mailbox.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks at a gas station, somewhere nowhere. He really isn’t. This is so unfair. So fucking unfair.

“No.” He says, not looking at Dean, or Dad who is inside buying something to eat and paying for the gas.

“I…”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Sam says, it comes out harder than he wanted it to, but he is so pissed. He has had enough of this. He wants to stay somewhere, he wants to stay here. Where Patrick is and music and a normal life. He doesn’t ask himself anymore if his life ever will be normal, because he knows it won’t.

“Okay. But you know it’s not Dad’s fault.” Dean says. Sam fucking knows it is Dad’s fault. He could end things just like that. Just let it be. He can’t even remember their mom, he doesn’t know…he isn’t even sure if he loves her or if he hates her for being dead, for making his life hell.  
He keeps quiet. Dean sends him a look, but he just gets into the car and waits for Dad to come back.

~end~


End file.
